Strangest encounter with a customer that I had at the bar last night:

October 11, 2010

Strangest encounter I had with a customer at the bar last night:

There were two contenders, but last night's winner was an old man.  He looked enough like Geraldo Rivera to be his brother, but blonde and weirdly muscled for a 60-year-old dude.  No body fat at all, like Bruce Lee in his prime.  He first came to my attention when he was playing pool.  He was aggressively talking with the other players, asking questions about their religious convictions.

"I am a Man of GOD and I WILL NOT play pool with any atheists!!"

He ran out of money and got upset when I informed him that we were a cash only bar.  I directed him towards our ATM, but he pulled a card out of his wallet and started pointing at it.

"I only have credit cards!  I've never used a debit card in my life!  You have to take my credit card!"

I pointed out that his card clearly had the word 'debit' printed on it, so he grudgingly walked over to the ATM.

I should mention that because of his demeanor and tone of voice, I don't believe for a second that he didn't know it was a debit card.  I think he was just being contrary because A) I wouldn't tell him whether or not I was an atheist, B) he'd had perhaps a few too many drinks, and C) he was all butt hurt that the bar didn't take credit cards.

He stood in front of the ATM for a minute before yelling at me again.  "Show me how to use this thing!"

I joined him in front of the machine & showed him how to insert his card into the machine.  The PIN prompt came up, so I turned my back to give him privacy.  He tapped me on the shoulder.

"Now what do I do?"

"You enter your PIN number."

"What's my 'pin' number?"

"That's your private personal code you need to enter to access your account."

"Well, tell me what it is."

"Sir, I have no way of knowing what your PIN number is.  It's your number."

"But you're showing me how to use the machine!  You HAVE to tell me my number!  YOU HAVE TO!!"

"I can't tell you what I don't know..."

"Then that means that you're just going to have to take my credit card, aren't you?!", he said, smugly.

"Actually, sir, since we don't have any way to take credit cards, that means that you're just going to have to stop drinking..."

He stormed off, grabbed his coat, and left the building, presumably for a bar that takes credit cards.

And doesn't let atheists play pool.

*****

The runner-up for strangest encounter was a hippie girl who kept drawing primitive, childlike drawings of animals on bar napkins & giving them to random strangers.

Other than that, she was mostly quietly sitting with her friends, so I didn't think anything of it - until she saw some people throwing her napkin art away or using the napkins as drink coasters and getting them wet.

She approached me to complain. 

"That's my art!  They can't destroy it like that!"

"I'm not sure what you want me to do about it."

"Make them stop!"

"Miss, if you want to keep your napkin art, then I suggest that you keep it.  Once you give it away it really isn't yours anymore."

She wasn't happy with my response, but she accepted it.

A few minutes later I overheard her arguing with the bartender.  She wanted a glass of water, but flavored water.  Regular water wouldn't do it.

"I never drink water.  I can't drink plain water, it'll make me sick!  I only ever drink flavored water.  I grew up in a trailer and that's just how I was raised."

I'm not sure how the bartender resolved that one, but I'm glad it wasn't my problem...